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Lean In

mayo 11, 2015

Hace 4 años mi mamá volvió de uno de sus congresos y me habló muy entusiasmada de una oradora que había escuchado. Como de costumbre mamá compra siempre el libro de la oradora, pero generalmente se aburre en la mitad del libro y termina siendo un souvenir.Sheryl Sandberg tenía mucho para decirle a las mujeres, aparentemente y ya había empezado con su rueda de conferencias. Mamá me habló mucho de este libro pero esta vez, fui yo la que no le presté tanta atención.

Siendo una emprendedora, que nunca trabajó en una empresa que no sea suya, me cuesta bastannnnte leer sobre desarrollo en el mercado corporativo, de hecho hace no mucho que aprendí que existía el término “carrera corporativa”. Tal vez por eso fue que el libro de Sheryl me gustó al principio pero después, para mí, terminó siendo una suma de anécdotas del crecimiento en empresas de las mujeres. No quiero desmerecer para nada todo su estudio: más de 80 páginas del ebook de un total de 240 son las notas al pie, lo cual muestra que Sheryl hizo la tarea para citar todos los ejemplos. La primera parte del libro habla desde su costado más personal, la última habla más a través de toda esta recolección de datos y anécdotas de situaciones de mujeres dentro de las empresas.

Igualmente destaco muchísimo, de esa primer parte la idea sobre lo que a veces nos negamos las mujeres, eso que nos hace dudar, eso que nos da miedo, eso que nos impide soltarnos y mandarnos con lo que pensamos, con lo que creemos : Lean In.

Porque lo hacemos, porque a veces nos tiramos a menos y pocas pensamos, o nunca, que haríamos si no tuviéramos miedo. Sheryl dice que escribir ese libro para ella fue lo que haría si no tuviera miedo. Y por eso la aplaudo. Por animarse, por exponerse. Y por eso me gustó el libro.  Leyéndolo, me di cuenta que escribir este blog es para mi también saltar, dar el paso, hacer eso que me da miedo. Así que gracias Sheryl, chocá los 5.

Aquí una recolección de mis nuevos #mantras del libro:

“We lower our own expectations of what we can achieve. We continue to do the majority of the housework and child care. We compromise our career goals to make room for partners and children who may not even exist yet. ”

“At Facebook, we work hard to create a culture where people are encouraged to take risks. We have posters all around the office that reinforce this attitude. In bright red letters, one declares, “Fortune favors the bold.” Another insists, “Proceed and be bold.” My favorite reads, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

“Writing this book is not just me encouraging others to lean in. This is me leaning in. Writing this book is what I would do if I weren’t afraid.”

For women, feeling like a fraud is a symptom of a greater problem. We consistently underestimate ourselves. Multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own performance as worse than it actually is, while men judge their own performance as better than it actually is.”

You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.

I know that my success comes from hard work, help from others, and being at the right place at the right time. I feel a deep and enduring sense of gratitude to those who have given me opportunities and support. I recognize the sheer luck of being born into my family in the United States rather than one of the many places in the world where women are denied basic rights. I believe that all of us—men and women alike—should acknowledge good fortune and thank the people who have helped us. No one accomplishes anything all alone.

Self-doubt becomes a form of self-defense. In order to protect ourselves from being disliked, we question our abilities and downplay our achievements, especially in the presence of others. We put ourselves down before others can.

“Just as I believe everyone should have a long-term dream, I also believe everyone should have an eighteen-month plan. ”

“Tiara Syndrome,” where women “expect that if they keep doing their job well someone will notice them and place a tiara on their head.”

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.

Sobre #mentoreo:

Being unsure about how to proceed is the most natural feeling in the world. I feel that way all the time. Asking for input is not a sign of weakness but often the first step to finding a path forward.

…great advice about asking for advice. He told me to figure out what I wanted to do before I went to see the people who had the ability to hire me. That way I would not waste my one shot seeking general guidance, but would be able to discuss specific opportunities that they could offer.”

On emotions:

Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships. Motivation comes from working on things we care about. It also comes from working with people we care about.

Recognizing the role emotions play and being willing to discuss them makes us better managers, partners, and peers.

Don’t enter the workforce already looking for the exit. Don’t put on the brakes. Accelerate. Keep a foot on the gas pedal until a decision must be made. That’s the only way to ensure that when that day comes, there will be a real decision to make.

Sobre la pareja:

When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. (If you don’t believe me, check out a fabulous little book called Porn for Women. One page shows a man cleaning a kitchen while insisting, “I like to get to these things before I have to be asked.” Another man gets out of bed in the middle of the night, wondering, “Is that the baby? I’ll get her.”

Sobre el valor de las cosas hechas, y como lidiar con las múltiples funciones en la vida de la mujer :

“Trying to do it all and expecting that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy. Gloria Steinem said it best: “You can’t do it all. No one can have two full-time jobs, have perfect children and cook three meals and be multi-orgasmic ’til dawn … Superwoman is the adversary of the women’s movement.”

I tried to focus on what really mattered. Long before I saw the poster, I began to adopt the mantra “Done is better than perfect.” Done, while still a challenge, turns out to be far more achievable and often a relief.

 

 

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